Janitor

The Janitor is a character you only meet in the wards bewteen levels, you can talk to him to get one of many lines of dialogue.

His dialogue changes after certain levels are opened (Note that you do not have to complete the level to change the dialogue). Some levels do not have unique dialogue and will instead default to the phrase "If you see any big messes or spills, don't come running to me about it. Chances are I probably already saw it and put it on my To-Do list. If I close my eyes and procrastinate long enough, maybe it'll disapear!"

The levels that include dialogue changes are as follows:

1-1 Samurai Techno: "Did you see that samurai looking dude? What's his deal? Is he like, going to a convention or something?"

1-1N Samurai Dubstep: "I saw you operating on that samurai guy again. It got me thinking. He could be some history nerd cosplaying in intricate armour. Or MAYBE... ...he entered some sort of time rift, and woke up hundreds of years in the future. I'll keep my eyes on him and I'll let ya know."

1-2 Intimate: "Did you see those two kiddos? They totally have a thing for each other, that's what I think. You would think I got the scoop from "eavesdropping", but... ...they just talk really loud, we can all hear them down the hall."

1-2N Intimate (Night): "Are those teens officially dating, or what? I always see 'em walking around, holding hands, being all mushy. Next thing I know, they're crying and everything's all awkward between them. Teenagers are so DRAMATIC. Love ain't so complicated! Just ask each other out to a movie and get it over with!"

1-X Battelworn Insomniac: "Either I'm going crazy, or there are TWO sword-swinging dudes walking around. I don't get paid enough for this..."

2-1 Lo-Fi Hip-Hop Beats To Treat Patients To: "That hoodie guy keeps tryin' to get me to listen to his electronic music. I'm trying to clean toilets and he's hittin' me up with all these "24/7 chill vibes" things. I don't even know what the heck that means. I don't get paid enough for this..."

2-1N wish i could care less: "Hey doc, quick question. Why does that hoodie guy's room look like some vacation getaway? Meanwhile, my "Janitor's Office" is a broom closet with a child-sized desk squeezed into it? I'm not trying to start trouble! I'm just asking... ...when the hoodie guy feels better and goes home, can I have his room?"

2-2 Supraventricular Tachycardia: "That hoodie guy keeps chuggin' coffee. Look at him go! He's really putting those down, huh? Don't come cryin' to me if he, uh, makes a mess."

2-3 Puff Piece: "We've got a cafe in the building. Have you checked it out? Rush hour must be a pain, that girl running the joint always has a sour look on her face. I only ever see her lighten up when that hoodie dude comes around."

2-4 Song of the Sea: "I heard you playing piano in the cafe earlier. Not gonna lie, it sounded like you were straight-up just mashin' on the keys. I'm not saying it was bad! I'm just sayin' what I heard. Is that how the pros are doing it these days?"

2-4N Song of the Sea (Night): "Did you know that barista girl always spells my name wrong on the cup? Every single time. I've been here for five years and she still doesn't know my name? Geez..."

2-X All the Times: "Just when I thought things couldn't get any weirder around here... ...that hoodie dude and the coffee girl are singing at each other across the hall. And y'know what? I can dig it. I've always been a sucker for a cute duet. Keeps things lively around here."

3-1 Sleepy Garden: "Those kids keep dancing around the plant room. If they bump into a pot and break it, who do you think has to clean it up? And now on top of that, there's a loose bird flying around? I don't get paid enough for this..."

3-2 Classy: "I just saw a dude in a suit bust in here and skip the whole line. Was that the health Secratary? That guy's always yelled about medical workers on TV. Makin' us sound entiteled. So I stopped paying for cable. I don't need to watch the news. If I wanted to get yelled at all day, I'd just come into work."

3-3 Distant Duet: "I know you're all having fun with your techno-magic healing buttons... ...but who do you think is doing all the hard work caring for the patients? Me and the nurse have been breaking our backs all day runnin' this place. We're going back and forth, keeping this elderly couple fed, fixing their bedsheets, maintaining their rooms. Glad you guys finally showed up to do something."

3-3N Distant Duet (Night): "Can we trade jobs? I'll do the rhythm button thing... ...and you can sanitize the doorknobs, mop the floors, and listen to Mrs Stevenson talk about her grandkids.

4-1 Training Doctor's Train Ride Performance: "I thought I heard that you left to go on a trip. Did you forget something? Or do you just like talking to me?"

4-2 Invisible: "Hey, wanna hear a story? I'll take your silence as a "Yes, please." That Ada Paige lady is pretty cool. We don't talk much. I mostly keep to myself. But one time...she was working with this family. The father was recovering from a heart attack. He was in pretty poor health, so everything seemed a lil' touch-and-go for a while. His wife and four kids kept visiting. The youngest son kept running around the halls, getting in our way. It was a huge pain-in-the-neck for me. Having a big family in here, on top of everything else. Paige ignored the distractions. She worked hard, I could tell. She had not only operated the best she could, but also went the extra mile in talking to the kids. The wife was so scared, she didn't know what to do without her husband to help. It felt like we were all playing babysitter for her kids during that time, but Paige especially. In the end, Paige was able to pull off whatever fancy operation she was doing in the guy's chest. It was a success, he ended up totally fine. And get this, when the family was celebrating, ready to leave and go home... I saw Paige enter the broom closet and grab a box. I had no idea what it was. It turned out she had bought the oldest child a birthday present. His birthday was the day after his dad had the heart attack. Paige said "Each birthday you have only comes once... ...I'm sorry you had to spend it stuck in this place. I hope this present makes up for it." The mother and father were like "thank you thank you thank you." It was so sweet, but I just didn't get it. Why did she bother to do it? She's treated at least a hundred patients before. People come in and out of here all the time. Why would she waste the time finding a birthday present? Maybe it's just because she's young. She's still pretty new to this. Maybe she'll realise soon there's no time for sentimental stuff like that. But either way...every time I pass her in the hall I think about those kids."

4-3 Steinway: "Alright, I finally figured it out. All these weird birds belong to that old lady Mrs Stevenson! So they're not wild after all, I guess? They're pets? I can't decide if that's better or worse."

4-4 Know You: "How was your train ride? Did you go anywhere cool?"

X-1 Art Exercise: "Did you see that girl that does the drawings? She drew me, once! I still have the picture at home. I've never looked better!"